10 Ways to Conceal Your Fugly Face in the Net

Here I am again stating the obvious as I mention to you the different ways most people utilize to beautify their faces, err… pictures over the net. For whatever reason their acts may serve, it is of much importance that you are familiar with these techniques so that when EB’s come, you’ll probably know what to expect and how to deal with these fuckingly low esteemed people who try to fool you online.

1. The Artsy Fartsy

These are the type of people who are obsessed with special effects and saturation to the point that only the outline of their face is shown. Usually, their pictures consists of usually 2 contrasting colors and their shades.

Example? Ninoy and Cory pictures.

2. The Sun Worshipper

Always with an over exposed side of the face. Their favorite fictional character is Edward Cullen sans the sparkling effect when hit by the sun. Usually used by facially challenged  and dark skinned people who think they could get away with this effect.

3. Ms.Abot hanggang Isabela ang Nguso

Usually used by girls ages 14 to the late teenage years, probably imitated from magazine models. They may be good kissers since they always exercise their lips but if they insist that is cute, it’s definitely not.

4. The Aerial Man

His favorite angle: the Top View. I pity this person since it’s pretty difficult to show off your best angle if indeed it’s their best at all. Most commonly done, with the pouty lips and puppy eyes effect to complete the paawang-pacute look. Also compatible with the babalu’s out there

5. Mr.Panga Mo Ibida Mo

Similar to the Aerial Man but this time, the side view is emphasized. These people master the art of finding the perfect degree to make their picture perfect. Usually done by fat people.

6. The Candid Faced

These are the people who really make the silliest of faces since they already accepted the lesser fortunes given to them and rather use it to intensify their ugliness so that it would seem cute during candid shots. However, this is technique is only applicable during candid shots, it won’t work on formal pictures unless you want to stick out like a pimple.

7. The Far sighted

These are the people who intentionally blur their pictures so that they would have a clearer face. Usually done by people with acne and other skin conditions

So there, actually there are still more but I just decided to focus on those aforementioned since they are  some of the most prominent. For those people that are guilty of doing these “effects”, you just have to embrace and take care of yourself more. Always remember that being pogi/maganda doesn’t define us as persons.

As the online world can be a lurking ground for the anonymous and the mischievous, we must always remember to take caution in meeting with others. 

I just recalled a simple anecdote that when I was in Highschool, a girl told me in my face, “Kasing pangit mo sulat mo!” in a tone that seemed like in between a shout and an insult. Up to this day I still can’t forget those lines. But now, I can say that my handwriting already improved, somehow. :)

PS: I actually wanted to post real sample pictures but that would be so mean, won’t it?