I still remember the first movie I watched alone. It was in my opinion, the best Filipino film ever made – "One More Chance". The experience itself felt like an emotional suicide further complicated by the pain of lining up for the movie and end up buying only a ticket for myself. And as I entered the movie house, I had to endure my heavy aching heart when I see couples everywhere. The movie was phenomenal, a blockbuster, I would say. The movie house was filled by a sea of couples – the young, married, and the old which made it hard for me to find a seat. Luckily, I managed to find a one near the back at the farthest seat at the left wing. I bought myself the biggest size of popcorn that the movie house has plus an extra large iced tea to accompany me in movie.
Every row of chair has eight seats and almost everyone was with their partner, I had to bear having an empty seat beside me. I felt like a valiant tiger, a solitary one at that. As the film started, I sensed the warmth of the cuddled couples nearby, yet all I could feel is the coldness of the air conditioning unit. Sensing isn’t the same as feeling after all. You can feel pain, but you can’t sense it.
As the picture progressed and went on to climax - the scene where Popoy found a new love while Basha went away - I had to do the most consoling thing I can do for myself – fill the spaces of my hand with my other hand just to feel she’s the one holding it. It did the least relief but it sure backfired after only a few minutes as it reminded me that only a unfilled red chair was next to me. Thus, I had to stop again.
After a few years, I had to learn that she was with her seminarian boyfriend that same very day I watched the movie alone. She told me they had an sexual intercourse at the comfort room of the Chapel. Oh what sacrilege it had been! But upon meeting her again, all I could say is:
“Oh, I heard about what happened, it must be difficult for both of you but congratulations on your first baby…”
And all she replied was, “Ninong ka ah?”
In my mind I replied, “Putanginamofuckyoubitch!”